Saturday, April 19, 2008

I Hate Getting Caught (laughing).



I was very pleased to discover that the stairwells on my campus are rather good for taking pictures. They have that uncluttered background that lends itself very nicely to outfit photos, but because there are windows lining the stairs the lighting is also pretty decent. The downside is that the best stairwell for this is also one of the most well-traveled (I like this one best because the lighting is better than most, slightly, and there aren't any fire extinguishers on the wall behind me) since it's between three of the busiest buildings and the campus center.

The first time I discovered this photo-prime place I was miraculously undisturbed. Since then I have had no such luck. I feel so awkward when I'm discovered! The other day I managed to grab the camera fairly quickly when someone popped through the door, although I did garner a strange glance as they made their way through into the Education building, and most of the time I'm careful not to get caught.

Not that it matters! But somehow it feels very strange to me to get caught taking pictures of myself. It's why I won't even go out onto the regular campus where the fountains are to take pictures, I feel like such a weirdo (although, when I have someone with me who I'm comfortable and familiar with, I have no problem taking them almost anywhere, but I suppose it's because I feel like I have backup)! This is not the sort of thing that should matter, I know, but there is something mildly embarrassing and deeply cringe-worthy about getting caught. I think a lot of it has to do with where the real life meets internet personas. Then again, I think it's similar to the kind of exhibitionism (and I don't mean that in the negative way, but in a more positive self-assured way) as wearing neon-colored tights in a city or town or place where those kinds of things aren't the norm.

There's a really strange kind of thing that happens taking pictures in public anyway. It's something that has always seemed private to me. It says that there was something you thought was worth it enough to warrant taking a photo and other people will be curious about what you're taking a picture of and why. With people it's similar, but also more personal because it becomes about faces and bonds and interactions and things like that, very intimate moments that are picked out in public. I think this is why street style blogs are so fascinating to me! They seem like a really weird mixture of a public vs. private sphere type of deal, or perhaps this is all because I'm a wildly private loner who can't deal with extroversion. The Clothes Horse, in her most recent post, noted that she finds it difficult not to freeze up in front of someone else's camera. It's a funny thing, but I'd have to agree. I don't know what to do when someone else is taking the picture, though my own w_r shots are rather boring anyway, but I always feel the need to grin and be as normal as possible when it's someone else rather than stand still and moody.

Either way, I always feel like something wildly personal is being accidentally caught happening when someone catches me taking pictures of myself. Perhaps it is because I don't want to appear too narcissistic, although obviously I am if I'm doing this sort of thing on the internet at all, but you know. Illusions, Michael.

7 comments:

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  2. ha, I completely feel with you. I never really make it out of my room but part of it is also because I never find the right height as a position for my camera.
    apart from my very own book shelf.

    btw: I adore your hair, it is so romantic and wonderful. and a little rory gilmore if you don´t mind.
    <3

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  3. You look lovely. I take so many pictures in my room because then I can't get caught mid-picture, I hate people to think I'm egotistical or narcissitic...

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  4. I totally know how you feel! I've been so close to caught in the work bathroom too much that I will no longer take pics in there!

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  5. i also feel very uncomfortable when taking pictures of myself in public places, especially when i try so hard not to get caught. once, i was taking w_r photos outside (so i'd freeze for like 10 seconds at a time) and i thought, thank goodness no one's around. after a couple of days though i got feedback from a neighbor saying they thought there was a mannequin in front of the house but then it suddenly moved and walked away. eek!

    (sorry for the long comment!)

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  6. i love your bag
    where from/what is it?

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  7. you and your blog is so wonderful, i'm so happy i found it.
    x

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