Sunday, December 2, 2007

The Damned.

There is no way to explain myself. I can only blame it on the fact that when one stares at something long enough, eventually one begins to want it and think it isn't so heinously ugly after all. My offense is rank! I bought a pair of Ugg knock-offs.
I know! I know. I KNOW. I can rationalize my way out of three paper bags, and that is part of why I bough them, but I will try to give you none of that here. (I also blame the snow we got early this morning, dreadful!) My only true defense is that they are at least black ones, not some odious tan or mocha color, and I will never, ever wear them with the following:

1.)Denim skirt, mini or otherwise (not that I own one)
-leggings as pants
3.)Jeans folded up over the tops
-jeans tucked inside
4.)With a North Face jacket
5.)With a Vera Bradley bag.

Okay, here's the other thing. I have been very familiar with Uggs my whole life. My dad had a pair he tossed about two years ago that he had since the 70s. They were beyond dead, with holes in the toes, but I always feel as though I must point out that I've known about Uggs since I was a toddler (as though this somehow makes me more knowledgeable about hideous footwear, or alternately that is an excuse for me to wear something that resembles them). This also makes it somewhat difficult for me to imagine them as something even vaguely acceptable to wear as part of an 'outfit' and not something you wear with a robe in the morning while eating cereal and reading Calvin and Hobbes.
The truth of the matter is that they are warm and comfortable, and with a nice discount from work, Ugg-inspired boots (using the word loosely) seemed like a good idea. At the end of the night, after wrangling with customers trying to return pulverized obviously-worn shoes and throwing boxes around, the trek into the freezing tundra that is the parking lot is made that much easier.
I also mostly wear all black to work, and usually dresses or skirts. I mean, I know I'm losing all my credibility here, but I don't think it looks that bad! They're black, and I wear all black, and I am rationalizing beyond belief here but I cannot make excuses. I bought them, and I wear them, in public.
I'm not saying I can make them work. Or that they are fashionable, or aesthetically pleasing, or contribute anything and I know there are all sorts of winter-boot options out there that aren't these but I do maintain that I can wear them differently. I will be like the crazy lady who walks around throwing on whatever strikes her fancy and keeps her warm. It is not a slippery slope (although, literally, outside it is).
I also repent and make up for it by getting the perfect pair of knee-high suede boots in my grubby little hands. Or, I will have them, come Christmas. I offer up my new cute boots in penance for the offense of the ugg-like monstrosities. Oh, the shame!

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